How to Create a World People Want to Belong To: Steps 1-3


To create a world that people want to belong to, want to participate in, and want to contribute to, a world where each person feels a sense of purpose and belonging, and an awareness of the important role they play in the greater community of human kind, you’ve got to start somewhere.

Sure it might be a utopian vision, but why not do your best to head in that direction?

So how do you begin?

You start within yourself and expand from there.

Here are the first 3 of 12 Steps:

(Stay tuned for upcoming posts covering steps 4-7 and 9-12)

1. Start by becoming aware of where you are right now, and acknowledge and accept that “this is what I’m really feeling.” You can’t change what you can’t feel, and if you’re not connected to your innermost truth you’ll be living in reaction and avoidance. Is the driving force behind your actions actually a wound that you’re not even aware of? If so, you’ve got some discovery to do before marching ahead with your agenda.

2. Acknowledge any “polarities” that exist within you. This means diffusing any inner-conflicts that contribute to the experience of blame — the feeling that somebody or something else is the cause your situation.

The polarity within you is the charge in all “us vs. them” confrontations, the underlying energy when you feel that you’re right and someone else is wrong. It is the energy that drives retaliation and feeds conflict.

The polarized energy within your own being is diffused though, once you recognize that the good/evil, light/dark, oppressor/oppressed relationships can only continue if a part of YOU is invested. After all, if you weren’t in the equation there would be no polarity! In reality there is no us and them. There’s just us. It’s something that Nelson Mandela, Ghandi and Mother Theresa all discovered, and it’s available to you too.

3. Get unstuck. Ok, so how do you get unstuck? Well, there’s a secret to that, that not too many people know about: First off, Don’t try to get unstuck!

When you feel stuck, it’s because you’ve lost touch with the spontaneity and playfulness of the kid in you. You’re frustrated, agitated, and feel mired down because you’re in a situation that you begin to realize you’ve created yourself!

Your role is that you keep repeating the same things over and over and expecting different results, and you don’t know how to change your situation. So, if you don’t know how, then don’t try to change it!

Feel the frustration, feel the stuckness, and stop struggling to get somewhere else.

You’re stuck, so wallow in it for a moment.

When a person is trapped in quicksand, the more they struggle the more stuck they become. Only when they stop struggling and take a moment to acknowledge that more effort is not working, can they begin to find a solution to the situation.

If you’re stuck, stop efforting, and feel the frustration. Then, apologize to the kid in you, the part of you that just wants to play. This helps turn the feeling of being stuck, into a lighter more peaceful experience. Sure your situation will still be the same, but your mindset will change. You won’t feel as serious and bogged down, and from that place a new solution can arise.

These first 3 steps — become aware, depolarize yourself, and get unstuck — form the foundation for virtually all sustainable change. Stay tuned for steps 4-7, and to make moving through these steps a whole lot easier.

Learn more about the Somato Respiratory Integration tools taught at The Well Being Center.

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About John Amaral

Santa Cruz Chiropractor Dr. John Amaral has helped thousands of people from over 50 countries transform and awaken to more meaningful and purposeful lives. Follow him on twitter at @johnamaral